


Trailer Park Trash

by blueboyjohnny



Series: try hards that are going nowhere [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drag Queens, Fights, Gang Violence, Gangs, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Stealing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 23:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21279236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueboyjohnny/pseuds/blueboyjohnny
Summary: Jungwoo walks into his shrink’s office.“I’m afraid you’re a kleptomaniac,” his therapist tells him.“Really,” Jungwoo says, “is there something I can take for it?”





	Trailer Park Trash

**Author's Note:**

> Be nice about any mistakes please

Jungwoo sits straight up in the booth his hands gripping his thighs as he looks around the diner. He’s in some black slacks and a white polo he stole from Kun; it was too tight in the strangest of places, but it’s been so long since he’s dressed up for an interview he didn’t have anything nice of his own. A second job was needed as being a drag queen wasn’t enough to pay the bills. Jungwoo had recently quit his job as a piercer because, though it was steady and the pay was good, some unforeseen circumstances had led to him having to leave. The unforeseen problems had been him being fired, though he would never admit that to anyone choosing to say he quit to save his image. 

“I’m Doyoung Kim,” a tall, lean man slides into the booth across from him. His white shirt was stained with splotches of red and a five o’clock shadow darkened his jawline. 

Doyoung Kim doesn’t make eye contact when he sits down; instead, he stares right pass Jungwoo’s head and then down at the resume Jungwoo brought in two days ago. 

“Jungwoo Kim,” He holds out his hand for the man to take. Doyoung looks at his hand and then up at his face. He stares at his cheek and then back at the paper. Slowly, Jungwoo withdraws his hand. He tries to control his facial expressions as the feeling of being disrespected overcomes him. 

“I don’t usually conduct the interviews,” his voice is steady. 

“Okay.”

“I’m just the chef.”

“Okay.”

Finally they make eye contact. Jungwoo wishes they hadn’t; his eyes were wide like he was forcing them open and with his chin turned down and his lips pressed, he looks creepy. As if he’s never seen another human before, his stares sends shivers down his spine, his skin crawling. If the diner wasn’t a convenient place to work and the only place actively hiring right now he would’ve just left. 

“Why do you wanna work here,” and his sudden questions signals the beginning of interview. 

Jungwoo spills his usual bullshit and bats his eyes. He tried his hand at humor but Doyoung Kim doesn’t seem to laugh. He just stares, eyes seemingly unblinking. Jungwoo wasn’t sure he could work with a man so stoic. He smiles and Jungwoo feels a chill run down his spine. Jungwoo can see all 32 teeth and no man should have a smile so wide. Jungwoo tries not to grimace, but his smile comes out a little wobbly. 

Doyoung stands and Jungwoo hurries to do the same. He’s a little taken back with Doyoung’s abrupt movements. They stand just about eye to eye, he holds his breath waiting for Doyoung’s answer. 

“You’re hired,” Doyoung speaks and Jungwoo breathes again.

Doyoung holds out a hand for a shake. Jungwoo stares at it, the earlier rejection of his own handshake makes him hesitant to take it. But he does anyway, he just got the job he couldn’t lose it. 

As soon as they let go Doyoung tucks away all his teeth. He doesn’t make eye contact again, eyes staring right past Jungwoo’s shoulder. Jungwoo looks the man up and down. His hands clench and unclench by his sides, his body seemed too pale, like he never left the house, but he was handsome--in that old Hollywood movie type of way. His looks should be outdated, but instead they were more timeless. 

“You were pretty much hired the moment you asked for an application. No one really wants to work here.” Doyoung glances briefly at Jungwoo and he seems to stare through him. 

“Well thanks for the opportunity.” 

“Yeah, come in on Sunday at 12PM. You’ll be shadowing Jisung.” Then Doyoung turns around and walks into the back of the building. Jungwoo stands in the middle of the empty diner watching him retreat. In moments like these Jungwoo really wishes he had a bathtub, after all the weird intrusive staring he could really one. 

❊

_Dressing Room Intermission_

“He sounds like a fucking creep,” Ten laughs aloud. 

Jungwoo applies another coat of his pink lipstick as he speaks, “Don’t be mean, he might just have social issues or something.”

“Was he cute?”

“Why is that your worry?”

“Must’ve been because you won’t answer my question.”

Jungwoo looks over at Ten schooling a bored expression on his face, “Yeah, he was kind of cute, if you find weirdos attractive.” Ten squeals at the affirmation, completely ignoring Jungwoo’s comment. 

Jungwoo has known Ten for 5 years, since he was 18 and stumbled into the strip club begging for a job. He had ended up trusting the other with his life; he was the closest friend he’s made since he’s been out here. Then when he left the strip club, he got them joint shows on Saturdays at the local gay bar. 

“Maybe you can finally get some dick,” Ten said with a sultry smirk.

Jungwoo gasps, but before he can throw anything at the little twat, Taeil--the club owner-- is poking his head into the room, “Get backstage, you’re on in five.”

❊

Jungwoo shows up to the diner at 11:30, noting that the place is busier than it was last Friday. The two waiters on the floor seemed to be running ragged, taking orders and delivering food. It was clear that they definitely needed the help. He goes through the back door, though a little hesitant to do so. 

Doyoung is behind the grill flipping burgers and Jungwoo has to admit he’s handsome when he wasn’t having a hard time making eye contact. The way he moves from the burner to the fryer was smooth. Jungwoo liked a guy who could cook and the way Doyoung poured the fries onto a plate was attractive to watch. It really never took much to impress him.

“Hello, I’m Matt,” a white man with icy blue eyes appears on his right, “I’m the manager,” he presents a hand for Jungwoo to shake. 

Jungwoo takes it and puts on an eager smile, “Jungwoo.” 

“Sorry, I wasn’t here for the interview something came up,” He gives an easy smile and offers no further information, “You’ll be shadowing Jisung today, but Doyoung should’ve already told you.” 

Jungwoo didn’t notice the tall scrawny kid standing off to his left. He wrings his hands together while his eyes darted around the room and Jungwoo wonders if everyone here is so skittish. 

Matt reaches back and grasps Jisung’s wrist pulling him next to him. “He’s a little shy but a great kid and an even better worker,” Matt laughs like a proud dad. 

Jisung makes a little ah noise in disagreement waving both of his hands in front of him. The Jisung kid is adorable with his small eyes and a button nose. Jungwoo feels the need to coddle him. 

“He’s only 16, a little too young to be working, but let’s keep that between us. Welp, I’ll leave you guys too it.” Then Matt leaves them to figure it out on their own. Jisung doesn’t say much just hands Jungwoo one of the black aprons. He struggles to tie it around his waist before Jisung is already out the door. 

Jungwoo wants to quit about 30 minutes into the job. Jisung was a nice kid, he taught more through showing then speaking, so Jungwoo just follows, trying his best to keep up. Then Jisung suggest he goes out on his own. Jungwoo does alright with the customers but he spills most of the food and drinks, he apologizes each time trying not to let his face heat up in embarrassment. 

Now he’s waiting by the counter that looks into the kitchen. Doyoung shakes some food in a pan, an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth. Jungwoo likes that aesthetic and takes a mental picture of the way Doyoung forearms flex as he flips the food again. His eyes traced his side profile, the jut of his lips and the slope of his nose. Doyoung shouldn’t be stuck behind a stove flipping burgers, he deserves the cover of a magazine, Jungwoo thought. 

The bell is dinged shaking Jungwoo out of his reverie, “Don’t drop these this time. We can’t afford to lose anymore plates.” Jungwoo scoffs at his snarky remark. Doyoung just stares right past him with a curl in his lips. He can barely look him in the eyes but can say things like that. How can someone be so bold but have no confidence, it makes no sense to Jungwoo. 

Doyoung takes off through the kitchen and then presumably out the back door. He’s probably gonna go light that cigarette dangling from his lips. 

“You have to get those out before they get cold,” Jisung points one skinny finger at the plate and looks at Jungwoo with his mouth slightly open. 

Jungwoo blames it on the little jut of his teeth, “Right on it, kid.” He grabs both the plates and walks off to the wrong table. 

❊

_Dressing room intermission_

“How’s the new job treating ‘ya?” Ten smacks his lips trying to spread the lipstick evenly, looking at Jungwoo in the mirror.

Jungwoo is no good at this job. It’s been two long months of dropping plates and delivering food to wrong tables. He felt bad that Jisung usually had to help with his mistakes and every time he thought he’d be fired, Matt overlooked it. He probably had a crush on Jungwoo, but it was understandable. Most people did due to his cute face and soft demeanor. 

“The manager wants to fuck me, I’m sure of it.”

Ten laughs, “How’s the chef?” 

Doyoung was Doyoung. A washed up chef with no concept of personal space or eye contact. They only spoke to make snide comments at each other. 

“The chef is the chef, nothing more to say.” Jungwoo stands up walking over to the full-length mirror.

While Doyoung was simply himself it made Jungwoo think of him often. He found his strangeness intriguing, Doyoung was always looking at him when he thought Jungwoo wasn’t paying attention, but Jungwoo was always paying attention. He had a sixth sense for those type of things.

“He’s nice though, I wish we spoke more than insults though,” Jungwoo said. 

He turns to Ten who’s bent over giving his make up one last one over. “My eyebrows are uneven.” 

He looks back at Jungwoo and Jungwoo brings a hand to his mouth. They were indeed crooked, just slightly off and under the dim lights no one would notice. “Barely,” is all Jungwoo could say.

❊

Doyoung approaches the locked diner door, with his hands tucked in his pockets and a half finished cigarette dangling from his lips. Jungwoo didn’t condone smoking of any kind but, he had to admit Doyoung looked hot. His white chef coat was unbuttoned to reveal his plain white tee and his black skinny jeans. He runs his hand through his black hair and give Jungwoo a heart-stopping smirk, “You look like shit.” 

Jungwoo chuckles. He knows he looks a mess right now, hungover from last night’s smoke session—he didn’t smoke anything just drank—with Lucas and Ten. “Thank you, you’ve always had such a way with words that never fails to flatter.” 

Doyoung says nothing just takes the lock off the door and walks in. Jungwoo follows him, the smell of smoke clinging to him. 

“What did you get up to last night,” Jungwoo can’t help but ask. They’ve done this routine plenty of times, but Jungwoo’s never inquired about his weekend. 

Doyoung looks surprised by the question. They make eye contact and Jungwoo thinks that that has to be like the fifth time in the two months that they’ve known each other. Instantly heat rises on his cheeks like he’s suddenly hyper aware of what he’s doing. Doyoung brings a hand up to the back of his neck, casting his eyes downward, “I got groceries.” 

This is why they couldn’t talk. Doyoung could only hold a conversation if it was full of snark. “That’s it? A pretty boring Sunday if you ask me.” Jungwoo walks over to the tables and starts taking the chairs down. 

“I don’t think partying every Sunday is very interesting or good for your liver.” Doyoung tacks the last bit on and makes his way to the kitchen his face passive. 

Jungwoo laughs a bit, “Me either, but I like to have fun.” 

“Grocery shopping is fun.” 

“I guess.” 

They continue to get things ready for opening in silence. Jungwoo finds himself watching Doyoung again. He moves with ease in the kitchen so different from his usual awkward gait. 

Their shift continues without many issues. Jungwoo mixes up an order twice and accidentally calls a lady a bitch to her face (it wasn’t an accident). 

He stands next Matt as the white lady, Karen, makes a scene right in front of the register. She looks like your stereotypical “let me speak to your manager” ass bitch and that pisses Jungwoo off a little more. This could’ve all been resolved with Jungwoo bringing her the correct order with the correct substitutions but she just had to speak to his manager. 

“—That’s why I believe you should fire him,” she finally finishes. 

Matt turns to him and then Karen. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience and the way my employee acted. I will be sure to talk to him about it, how about today’s meal free?” 

She gives up, though she doesn’t look too pleased about the free meal. She takes it anyway, seemingly placated. Jungwoo scoffs, he’s pretty sure plenty of people have called her a bitch in her lifetime, so why did this one have to hurt so bad? Matt rings her up for a free meal. 

When Karen is out the door Matt walks over to Jungwoo, “My office, now.” Matt was a pushover of a man, someone Jungwoo knew how to easily step around. It’s how he’s kept his job so long, despite being a complete disaster at it. Jungwoo could easily brush off his mistakes as him trying his darnedest, even though he was barely giving this job any thought. 

Jungwoo stands behind Matt he tries to remember what key opened his door. He looks back into the kitchen and catches Doyoung looking smug. 

“Someone’s in trouble,” he whispers with a smirk on his face. Jungwoo sticks out his tongue like a little kid. 

The door opens and Jungwoo can feel the chilliness from the doorway. Matt takes a seat behind the ratty old desk and Jungwoo sits in front of it. With a sigh Matt places his elbows on the table. 

“Jungwoo, really,” He sounds exasperated, “A bitch, really? What made you think calling a customer a bitch was a good idea?”

Jungwoo pretends to think about. He really did need this job, the drag shows were barely enough for rent. 

“No, it wasn’t,” Matt looks relieved but Jungwoo keeps on talking, “But it's not like she didn’t deserve it. I made a mistake and I offered to fix it.”

“You messed up her order two times!”

“Not my fault it was so complicated.”

Matt eyebrows furrow and his mouth opens and closes like a fish. He lets out a huff looking more conflicted as the minutes passed by. Maybe he could still get paid even though he’s cooped up in this office. Less work for him. Jungwoo tries not to outwardly smile at the thought of money with little work. Matt looks like he’s stuck between fussing Jungwoo out or just sending him away.

“If she hadn’t made so many substitutions maybe I could’ve kept up.”

“Jungwoo. Please for a moment just listen.” Jungwoo nods his head at Matt’s request silencing himself. “Do you know why I keep you here?” it’s a question that Jungwoo hadn’t been expecting, but he knows the answers all too well.

Matt will continue to compliment him and then tell him if he wants to keep this job, Jungwoo would have to do something for him. The blackmail always work because they always knew how much he needed the job. Jungwoo was pretty, in that soft feminine way that certain straight men loved to test out. It was a curse in his opinion. 

“I love your work ethic, I see something in you. We really need the help and I know you really need the job.” Jungwoo’s stomach turns like it always does at those words. 

“You want me you suck your dick. Matt’s face turns red at the accusations. 

“What—”

“Or maybe let you fuck me, you want me to bend over your desk and act all pretty? I’ve done this plenty of times and I won’t do it again.”

Matt looks awe-struck, spluttering at brashness Jungwoo spoke with. The wideness of his eyes makes Jungwoo proud for sticking up for himself. 

“No, I’m married and I have a kid.”

“That hasn’t stopped them before.”

The surprise seems to wear off and his face turns somber. The pride that Jungwoo felt in his belly flips to something icky. 

“I’m sorry for whatever people put you through in the past, it isn’t right but, I’m not like them. We’re gonna have to let you go Jungwoo.”

Now it was Jungwoo’s turn to be stunned. The icky feeling was embarrassment, just sitting heavy in his chest. He wants to plead and beg for his job back. He was always good at fucking up chances. 

Matt stands up walking to the door. He holds it open for Jungwoo, “You’re a good kid, Jungwoo. I’m pretty sure someone else will hire you.”

Jungwoo stands slowly, too shocked to say anything in response. He doesn’t look up when he walks out the door. Matt holds his hand out when Jungwoo is on the other side of the threshold. Jungwoo unties the apron from around his waist and places it in the awaiting hand. 

Jungwoo keeps his head held high and eyes forward as he makes his way to the backdoor. He can feel eyes boring in the back of his head. The office was tiny and all the walls of the building were thin, so everyone probably heard the conversation. Embarrassment turns into humiliation. He pushes open the back door and hops onto his cruiser. 

❊

The next day, Jungwoo takes off to the Starbucks on the good side of town. The bell chimes signaling Jungwoo’s arrival. With a quick look around he spots Lucas in the corner, tucked away at a small table. Jungwoo skips over with a lightness in his step, despite the heaviness of his bag. He spent a good time at the mall right across the street, stuffing his bag with clothes at Macy’s; a treat to himself to forget the humiliation he experienced yesterday.

Jungwoo takes a seat across from Lucas, placing the bag in the chair next to him. Lucas was like a little brother to him: their families lived across the street from each other while they were growing up and they always hung out at the same bougie parties. They even got evicted within months of each other. He hated that Lucas seemed to follow him everywhere, even all the way to this shitty town, with the only Starbucks being 20 minutes away on the “good” side of town. 

Ten walks out from the restroom, wiping his hands on his blue jeans. His blank expression widens into a smile once he spots Jungwoo and, with more pep in his step, he walks faster over to the table. 

“Hey you,” Ten takes a seat next to Lucas, who grabs his chair pulling the Thai boy closer. He throws his arm over the back of the chair when he deems Ten close enough. Jungwoo just rolls his eyes. 

Ten was just as eccentric as the club they worked at. He was like a breath of fresh air while it was so hard to breath. When everything had felt like it was Jungwoo’s fault, from the fall of his dad’s company to Lucas leaving to follow after him, it had seemed to Jungwoo that nothing could be right again. Ten showed him he was never to blame and that things happened in a certain way that we had no control over. With a smile and a fuck it attitude Jungwoo was happy to have someone like him on his side.

“What did you buy?” Ten reaches over for the bag and Jungwoo slaps his hand away. 

“Not a damn thing.” 

They both laugh, “That’s a horrible habit you need to kick.”

“Worse than smoking?”

“Baby, mine won't land me in jail.” 

“Honey, mine won’t either. I’ve never gotten caught.” Jungwoo doesn’t like to brag or say things like that aloud, because that’s when karma comes and takes a nip at your ass. However, Jungwoo was on a high with a bag full of goods, shit he didn’t need and barely wanted, this was his version of a good time. 

“Why were you even fired anyway?” 

His high is immediately killed as he remembers yesterday. The shock on Matt’s face that slowly melted into disappointment is so vivid in his mind. He wants to crawl under the table before remembering. 

“He told Matt he wasn’t gonna suck his dick because he was tired of creeps like him and then Matt was offended, that Jungwoo had thought he wanted head and not because Jungwoo had called him a creep, and fired him,” Jungwoo hates Ten’s big mouth.

Lucas lets out a low whistle, “What are you gonna do now? I know you needed that job.”

Jungwoo just shrugs his shoulders the weight of his humiliation suddenly made him feel so heavy.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Woo, everything will work out soon. It always does for you.”

And Jungwoo holds those words close to his heart.

❊

_Saturday Night_

If good things wouldn’t come to Jungwoo, he would go get them for himself. He comes around the back of a very familiar building. A very familiar man sits on the stoop of the back door, a cigarette in-between two fingers as he brings it to his lips.

Jaehyun Jung looks up from his phones as Jungwoo stumbles over to him. His blank expression easily morphs into one of distaste. He hops up from his sitting position, glaring daggers at Jungwoo’s face. Jaehyun and Jungwoo parted ways on a bad foot. Jungwoo did some pretty unforgivable things when he worked at the tattoo shop as a piercer, but his drunken and agitated mind lead him here.

“What?” Jaehyun calls out at him. 

“I need a job,” Jungwoo’s speech was slurred. His body leans to the left, then to the right and back again before it centers itself. 

“A job, seriously,” Jaehyun spits out.

Jungwoo’s drink clouded mind wasn’t thinking clearly. He nods his head trying to school his expression into one of determination. The world goes blurry before it rightens again. 

“I need one-one bad,” Jungwoo drags out the syllables in ‘bad’. 

“You’ve got to fucking kidding me,” Jaehyun throws down his cigarette. He walks over to Jungwoo, a fire in his eyes. “Fuck off, Kim. You know you’re not allowed to be here.” He places both hands on Jungwoo’s shoulders turning him back in the direction he came and, with a shove to the middle of his back, he lurches forward.

“Fuck you Jung. You were a bitch of a boss anyway.” Jungwoo use to swoon over that man. Jaehyun always appears quiet and brooding, when in reality he's just shy and doesn’t have many facial expressions in his arsenal. 

He giggles at his own silliness. Where was he even drinking before? What time was it now? He knows he’s been walking for some time now, Jaehyun and his shop far behind him. Jungwoo remembers Lucas and Ten and a few dollars and a few more drinks. He remembers swearing vengeance, calling Karen a bitch one more time and the diner. 

That’s where he ended up: the diner. He lets out a little burp and then takes himself around back. It was a little secret among the workers that it didn’t lock. The lock had been broken for longer than Jungwoo had been working there but definitely not as long as Doyoung had. 

Jungwoo’s drunk mind gets tingly at the thought of Doyoung. They hadn’t even crossed paths since he was fired but they never did before he landed the job anyway. He wonders what Doyoung had to say about him being fired. Had he heard the dumb shit left his mouth, did he think of him differently?

The door creaks open and Jungwoo can see straight down the dark hallway. He wants to laugh at how easy everything is right now. First order of business, though, is emptying his heavy bladder. With quick steps he marches down the hallway and into the bathroom. He trips over himself as he makes quick work at his pants, then finally relieves himself. 

He stumbles out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. People trust far too easily and Jungwoo had one of those faces that would make a WWII German give up the nuclear codes. The spare keys to Matt’s office was tucked in the freezer right behind the mayo. He gives a small apology to Jisung before marching over to the office door. 

Jungwoo wanted to kick it in or rip the plaque right off the front, but he knew he couldn’t make too much of a mess. It wouldn’t be any fun if they knew right away something was missing.

In the desk, the second drawer on the left was full of keys. The key to the register was taped to the bottom of it. Matt wasn’t paranoid but maybe the owner was that’s why everything was hidden. With the key in hand Jungwoo makes his way to the register. 

For some reason, nothing was processed through the bank- there wasn’t even taxes on the food here. The police seemed to just ignore this place, when there was obviously something shady going on. Jungwoo’s sober brain would’ve probably processed the ease at which everything was going. How dangerous this must be, how he shouldn’t mix himself up with something so sketchy. He wasn’t sober, though. Really, he was drunk off his ass and he would inevitably black out later and wake up with too much money on the coffee room table. 

He grabs a handful of cash shoving some into his pockets double fisting the rest. He shoves some into his bra then smiles at the messy register. He does a little dance, feeling the sweet taste of unneeded revenge on his tongue. 

Jungwoo goes back out the back, walking quickly home and the rest goes just as planned. 

❊

_Sunday Morning_

Panic is the first thing Jungwoo felt when he woke up. His head pounds as he peels himself off the floor. It seems that he was smart enough to take off all his clothes before passing out. He peels a twenty dollar bill off his bare stomach, trying to process where the money came from.

His pants were tossed to his left, the pockets over run with dollar bills. He slowly crawls over to his pants. Pulling out dollar bill after dollar bill after dollar from the pockets. What the fuck did he do last night?

Next to his jeans, he finds his coat. He digs through the pockets when he finds his phone, quickly dialing the first person he can think of. It rings three times, each ring more frustrating then the last before they pick up. 

“Ten,” Jungwoo’s frantic cries drown out Ten’s cheery hello, “I’ve really done it this time, I fucked up.”

“What’s wrong, Jungwoo?” He can hear the panic in Ten’s voice. 

Teras begin to well up in his eyes. He always found trouble, even when it wasn’t looking for him. There was no good explanation for where all this came from, all Jungwoo could do is hope he didn’t repeat his past. “I,” he clears his throat trying to swallow that lump, “I need some retail therapy. Are you free?”

There’s a pause, a long one. Jungwoo is shaking, internally begging Ten to say yes and not ask any questions.

“Sure, what time?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong,” Ten continues to shift through the clothes. He gives Jungwoo another worried look that just increases the nerves in his chest. 

Jungwoo’s been on edge since he’s left the house. His memory slowly coming back to had him shaking. Everything that had happened last night was too easy, but he was still scared. 

“Can’t I just take my best friend shopping?”

“You don’t shop Jungwoo,” Ten walks around the clothing rack, “That’s a fact of life.” 

Jungwoo gives a little chuckle at Ten’s words. He didn’t want to get Ten involved in whatever he had gotten himself into. 

“Let me treat you. It’s a celebration for, I don’t know, waking up this morning?” 

Ten laughs but his face falls somber quickly, “if this is about the money, Jungwoo, I don’t want anything.” 

His voice was lower and he spoke quickly. Jungwoo had spilled everything in haste when they first met up, his heart pounds and he shakes his head. 

“It’s okay Jungwoo,” Ten places a hand on his shoulder, “I won’t, I won’t tell anyone. Are you sure no one saw you?” 

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Jungwoo nods his head. 

“Good. Well, let’s get rid of it, then.”

❊

With his hands in his coat pocket Jungwoo struts down street. During the week Ten and Jungwoo meet at Tails (the club owned by Taeil) for practice. This was his weekly workout now that he had stopped stripping. 

Jungwoo hadn’t spent the money, he couldn’t bring himself to. He stole a new pair of shoes for Ten and then shoved the money into a homeless guy’s hand. Ten was fine with that development, even though Jungwoo tricked him into thinking he brought the shoes. 

“Ayo!” Jungwoo turns his head at the shout. A man, about Jungwoo’s age pulls up in a black sedan next to him. The driver slows the car down to a crawl. “Are you Jungwoo?” He asks. 

Jungwoo just rolls his eyes. Everyone knew everyone in this town and Jungwoo had a slight reputation- one that he wasn’t proud of but it didn’t matter since he couldn’t quite shake it. 

“Who’s asking?” He stopped walking and turned towards him. 

“TY.” 

Jungwoo feels his heart in his throat, his pulse picks up, TY. TY was far more notorious that Jungwoo, he was the local gang leader and someone who shouldn’t be fucked with. And as far as Jungwoo knew, he’s never messed with or crossed paths with TY. 

He opens his mouth to protest but before he can say anything the backdoor opens and Lucas comes running out. Jungwoo doesn’t even have time to be scared or run before he is grabbing him by the arm dragging him to the car. 

His fight instincts finally kick in when he’s shoved towards the car. He tries to wrench his arm from Lucas’ grip but the younger boy has always been stronger. 

“Lucas please,” he tries to pry his fingers from his arm. 

“Jungwoo,” Lucas spins him around until they’re standing eye to eye, “Please just cooperate.” 

“He’s gonna kill me.” Jungwoo’s voice shakes with fear. He’s begging for his life without really understanding what was going on. Most people don’t live to speak about their “meetings” with TY. 

Lucas shakes his head, “I promise he won’t. Not as long as you cooperate.”

Jungwoo can feel tears welling up in his eyes. Lucas doesn’t look very reassuring, honestly he looks just as scared as Jungwoo feels, but it’s Lucas and decides to trust his best friend. With a nod he climbs into the backseat. There’s another man sitting in the car. His face tats make Jungwoo want to bail again, but Lucas is slipping in beside him and closing the door. 

The guy to his left brandishes a zip tie, as the driver clicks the child proof lock. “He’s gonna tie your hands behind your back,” Lucas speaks calmly, attempting to not startle the already frightened Jungwoo, “Then, he’s gonna place a bag over your head.” 

“Lucas—”

“It’s just so you don’t know where we’re going, okay?” Jungwoo searches for something in Lucas’s eyes to calm him. The boy is jittery, his hand shaking and leg bouncing, but he holds his gaze firmly. “You’ll be okay woo, I promise.” 

The car sets off once Jungwoo is tied up and hooded. All he could hear was his heart racing and his labored, heavy breathing, combined with the quiet engine. Never did he think he’d end up in a situation like this. Jungwoo wouldn’t consider himself a criminal; sure, he did a few criminal things, but stealing was just a big fuck you to capitalism at the end of the day. 

Would Ten freak out if he didn’t show up? Jungwoo had never missed a practice, never even showed up late for one. He prided himself for always being on time. Lucas always told Ten everything, so Ten was bound to know what was going on today. Ten had to of at least told Taeil that he wasn’t going to make it. Heaven knows when he would come back. It all depended on what TY did to him. 

TY had a reputation: he was sweet but not very forgiving. He believed in second chances but not thirds. Lucas told him once that TY only had three rules:

1) Never skip a Kendrick Lamar song.  
2) If you stay in the house, church is every Sunday.  
3) Never mess with his money. 

Then it hits him, the diner, the money, Jungwoo broke the biggest rule of all. 

The car comes to a stop and Jungwoo’s heart picks up the pace again. There’s the sound of doors opening and then he’s being pulled out of the car. 

“It’s just me.” Lucas whispers in his ear. 

The ground under his feet is hard, but turns soft and crunchy quickly, almost like he was on grass. 

Lucas slows them, “Step up,” He raises his right foot at Lucas’s request. It comes down hard on a, possibly wooden, step. “Two more.” 

They stop completely when there’s keys jingling. Jungwoo assumes they’re at a house. He doesn’t even want to try to piece together where they are; he plans on never coming back. 

“Just tell the truth, Woo, for once in your life, please,” Lucas whispers in his ear with a sigh.

Then he’s being dragged forward again. Lucas maneuvers him out of the way of furniture and over hard rugs. His arm begins to hurt- Lucas had never understood his own strength. Another door is slammed open and Jungwoo is deposited into a chair. 

The sunlight hurts Jungwoo’s eyes after being on darkness for so long, the bag being removed roughly. Once his eyes adjust, he finally sees him, the prettiest man of he’s seen in his life. 

He had big doe eyes that were drawn into a glare that sent shivers down Jungwoo’s spine. His lips looked soft enough to kiss, and while he was pretty, he was incredibly intimidating. His red hair and eyebrow slit added to the edgy feel that he generally gave off. The face tattoos really sent it home, a teardrop under his left eye, TY under his right eyebrow, and baby boy near his hairline. 

“So,” His voice was rough like he was getting over a cold, “How are you today Jungwoo? You good?”

Jungwoo just nods his head. TY smiles, the white gold grills gleaming in his mouth. 

“That’s good. You know I’m not very good on his day. Do you know why?” 

Jungwoo shakes his head. 

“Go on, ask me why, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo opens his mouth but fear pushes the words down. He closes his mouth, tongue darting out to lick his lips before he opens his mouth again. 

“W-why,” his voice is barely a whisper. 

“Because someone fucked with my money and if there is anything I hate most in this world, it’s people fucking with my money.” 

“I’m sorry,” His voice trembles, “I didn’t know you owned the diner. I-I wouldn’t of done it if I knew- I’m sorry.” 

TY looks angry. He crosses his arms placing them on top of the desk. Jungwoo’s eyes trace the red dragon tattoo wrapping around his arm. Slowly, TY leans in closer, his big eyes bore holes into Jungwoo’s, but he doesn’t dare break eye contact. 

It’ll all be worse if he looks away, Jungwoo knows. One wrong glance could leave him dead. 

“So, it’s okay to steal, from anyone who isn’t me?”

“Yes- I mean no- I didn’t think anything would happen. I was drunk.”

TY sighs and leans back into his rolling chair, “Do you think that’s a good excuse.” 

Jungwoo balls his hands into fists in their position behind his back. He wanted to get this over with, but TY was toying with him. Treating him like that was some sort of game. Jungwoo was already shaking from fear, what else could he possibly want from him?

“Don’t drink if you can’t control yourself, it’s simple.” TY stands up from his seat behind the desk. He rounds it, coming to stand right in front of it. 

He’s dressed in a wife beater with baggy blue jeans, the band of his Calvin Klein boxers peeking through, everything fitting for this cinematic scene. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you Jungwoo. From Lucas, to the people who saw you at Tails and Cherry Bomb--you’re the talk of the town. But you’re also really fucking spoiled.” His tone took a dip for menacing at the end and Jungwoo wasn’t sure if he could tremble harder. He wanted to plead for his life, TY hadn’t even asked him if he stole the money. He talked like he knew, like he saw him prancing out of the diner, his pockets filled with 20’s. 

His whole body tenses up as TY leans in closer, “You think there’s no consequences for your actions, but I promise you there will be this time. I’ll send someone to tell you what you can do to repay the money you stole from me and the money you took from the tattoo shop.” 

Jungwoo’s body was already under a lot of stress, but if he had a heart attack at the mention of the tattoo shop, he wouldn’t be surprised. 

TY just stares, face impassive as he walks out the room. 

“Wait, what? Are you just gonna leave me here?” Lucas follows TY out of the room, both of them ignoring his pleas. He begins to struggle, trying to break out of the chair. His wrists begin to burn from the twisting against the zip ties. Just as he feels like he’s gonna break free the door burst open again. 

A bunch of big burly men come rushing into the room. “Hold still,” One of them says and then the zip tie is cut. It all happens so fast. He’s being yanked out of the chair and then there’s a fist flying into his face. He falls over from the strength of the blow, the carpet rough under his hands. 

Jungwoo tries to get to his feet but he’s kicked over. Then there’s a kick to his stomach, another punch to the face, a kick to the face and he begins to lose track of what lands where and just feels pain. 

Jungwoo floats in and out of consciousness the whole ride back. The pain aches deep in his body with every bump in the road. Lucas wasn’t with him this time. Two men sit on his sides, keeping him effectively trapped in the middle. They flashed the guns on their hips to keep Jungwoo from trying something, as if he could try anything in this state. 

The guys start filling out the car. Jungwoo doesn’t know when they stopped, time is moving for him in a completely different universe. It takes two of them to pull a limp Jungwoo out. 

The pain coursing through his body keeps him pliant. As they toss him to the ground—right in front of his trailer park entrance-- all he can do is groan, face down into the gravel. It digs into the bruises littering his body. 

Sometime during the beating someone smashed something heavy into his left knee. He’d accidentally kicked the dude in the balls while struggling but he shouldn’t have fucked up his leg like that. 

Jungwoo tries to push himself off the ground. He can’t quite get his feet under him. This isn’t Jungwoo’s first time getting his ass beat. Sticky fingers is his trademark and it’s been following him for years. He’s been beaten up before, but never this bad before. 

The familiar sound of tires on gravel startles him. His body is tired and it won’t move no matter how much he pleads with it. Luckily the car comes to a stop before it can run him over. The brightness of the lights causes him to squeeze his eyes shut. 

“Jungwoo,” a soft voice calls out over the sound of feet on gravel. 

Jungwoo doesn’t answer or look up. There’s a soft hand on his back that startles him. The pain courses through as he moves a little too fast to look at the stranger. His vision is obscured from his probably swollen eye, so he doesn’t really know who helps him up. 

He doesn’t have many friends out here and his neighbors hate him. They’d probably run him over if they found him out here. 

This person is sweet when they help him; sweet as they let Jungwoo rest his tired body against theirs; sweet as they practically drag Jungwoo to their car.

He’s gently placed into the passenger seat and the person ran around to the drivers side of the car. When they close their door, Jungwoo feels the car being turned around. He doesn’t care for his safety. If this person is a serial killer taking him back to their place to kill him, he would rejoice. He’s just happy he isn’t on the ground anymore. 

“Holy shit, Jungwoo. They really fucked you up.” Jungwoo let’s out a huff at the potential serial killers words, “At least that’s all they did.” 

Jungwoo could laugh, because yes, thank the lord for their mercy, but they could have maybe not beat his ass also. He feels like death enough right now that if he really did die, he wouldn’t even notice. His vocal chords don’t seem to work so he doesn’t respond. 

“Do you have your keys?” He nods in response. 

Then a car door opens and slams. Another one opens and he’s being eased out of the car. He groans lowly and the person mutters an apology as he’s pulled back into a standing position. He gives them all of his weight this time. The car door slams behind them. 

Jungwoo opens his good eye catching a peek at his trailer. Maybe the potential serial killer is also his stalker and knew where he lived. As they go up his tiny rickety steps, Jungwoo tries to not collapse. 

“Should’ve patted you down for the key before I pulled you out of the car,” Then, the unconfirmed stalker starts feeling around his pockets for his key. Jungwoo still doesn’t have the heart to talk so he brings a weak arm up to the trailer door pushing it open. “Oh, that works too.” 

Jungwoo had left all his lights on when he had left. His body relaxes in the familiarity of his own home. His serial killer/stalker/savior kicks off their shoes even though there’s no need too. Jungwoo was already barefoot so his savior just drags his body to the bedroom. He bounces as he makes contact with his lumpy mattress and he groans at the pain. 

“Shit, I’m sorry didn’t think that through.”

The man reaches over and turns on his bedside lamp, bathing the room in a hazy champagne light. Jungwoo finally gets a good look at his potential stalker-serial murderer.

His skin is fair and his inky black hair contrasts beautifully against it. His pouty lips press into a taut line as he takes in Jungwoo’s damaged body. He glances up at the sparkly eyes and why the fuck his Doyoung in his house?

“Doyoung,” He croaks out in lieu of the real question he wants to ask. He feels pathetic, laid up on the bed as the cook from the diner looks him up and down. 

“He speaks,” His wide mouth stretches into his too big smile. Jungwoo lets out a pathetic whine, “I know you have tons of questions, but let’s get you fixed up a little first, okay?” 

Doyoung brushes the bangs out of Jungwoo’s eyes gently. He barely feels the faint touches to his forehead. Doyoung gives him a last once over before he disappears. 

Doyoung is gentle when he cleans up Jungwoo. Gentle definitely wasn’t a word Jungwoo would use to describe Doyoung, due to all their previous encounters, but as he pushes up Jungwoo’s shirt and rubs aloe all over his bruised body and places ice on his skin, he can’t deny it. He makes Jungwoo hold an ice pack to his eye after he chugs two glasses of water. He gently cleans his busted lip, paying extra attention to it and Jungwoo can;t help the way his heart flutters. 

He backs away, throwing the q-tip into the trashcan near the bed, he looks Jungwoo over one last time. 

“I didn’t know you knew so much about first aid,” Jungwoo says, his voice softer than normal. 

Doyoung just shrugs. He grabs another plastic bag (Jungwoo didn’t even know he had plastic bags) filled with ice and put it on his knee. 

“I didn’t know you fucked around with gangs in your spare time.” Doyoung snarks back. Jungwoo tried to laugh but it’s cut short by the pain in his ribs. “Be careful.” Doyoung scolds. 

Jungwoo waits for the pain to subside before speaking again, “How’d you find my house?” 

“Got your address from Matt.” 

“I wrote down the wrong address.” 

“I figured it out when I was driving by and say your ugly cruiser.” 

Jungwoo smiles trying not to laugh, “My cruiser isn’t ugly.” 

They sit in silence. Jungwoo stares at the side of Doyoung’s face as he looks at the wall. Jungwoo can see his eyes dart to the corner probably unnerved by Jungwoo’s staring. 

“Why’d you come here?” Jungwoo asks. 

Doyoung beings to fidget. He turns his whole head so Jungwoo is just gazing at the back of it. He has a pretty neck, Jungwoo concludes after a few moments of looking. He lets his gaze drop to the broad back covered by a simple black tee. Jungwoo sees his shoulders rise and fall. 

“We were barely friends, Doyoung, what brought you to my trailer?” Jungwoo’s hackles rise. 

A lot has happened in the span of a few hours. His emotions have changed from surprise to fear to nothing at all. Now he feels abandoned and betrayed. Here’s a stranger basically sitting on his bed tending to his bruises. But where are Jungwoo’s friends, the ones he’s known for years? 

“My friend,” Doyoung turns back to him, he keeps his eyes glued to the wall right above Jungwoo’s head, “He told me what you did. I came to check on you to warn you that TY was probably after you.” 

Jungwoo thinks to Ten and Lucas who both probably knew, but didn’t say anything, but for Doyoung and all his weirdness found out where he lived and drove all the way out here to warn him-- he doesn’t know what to say to that. 

“My friend told on you, Jaehyun. He was still mad about the money you took from him and then you went by his shop to ask for a job. He followed you and saw you leave the diner with the money.” 

Doyoung takes a deep breath and casts his wide eyes in Jungwoo’s direction. His eyes look like they’re about to fall out of his head, “Why’d you take the money?”

Jungwoo doesn’t know if he’s talking about from Jaehyun or the diner but they both could stem back to some old childhood trauma. Jungwoo has sat down many times and asked himself the same question: Why did he steal? There was always a rush, it was never because he needed it and he never stole what he needed. The rush always faded, though, and he was always left with the question: Why?

“I don’t know,” Jungwoo says plainly. 

Doyoung lets out the breath he was holding. “Are you struggling, did you need money, is it just fun? There has to be a reason.” 

There’s a strange feeling crawling up in his chest. It’s the same feeling he gets after he sits at home and examines the things he took. He’s glad Doyoung couldn’t hold eye contact for long because he really wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye right now. 

“If you’re here to shake some answers out of me for Jaehyun, I don’t think you’re gonna get one.” 

“He kept talking about how you’re such a bad person. How could someone take things they don’t need, he said you’d do it all the time. And that you were horrible for it.” Doyoung takes a deep breath casting his eyes down to Jungwoo. Jungwoo looks away this time. “I didn’t want to believe it. I knew you, Jungwoo, and you were a lot of things, but never a bad person.” 

Jungwoo looks at Doyoung, who stares back for half a second before looking away. Jungwoo would love to believe he’s not a bad person. He did everything in his power to simply not be a bad person, but he always fucked up once he went into a store. The money he stole from the diner had nothing to do with his need to take and that’s all he could come up with right now. 

“I think this town is a place where people who’ve done bad go,” Jungwoo takes his gaze from the side of Doyoung’s face to the ceiling, “Some people can shake all the bad they’ve done and become a better person. Others will rot here doing the same shit that they’ve always done. I’m in the latter category. A person that will always do the same shit. I’ve been stealing things for so long. I might not have been a bad person when I started, but I’m one now.” 

Doyoung doesn’t say anything. He keeps looking at that wall and Jungwoo doesn’t want him to say anything. He actually wants him to leave. He doesn’t know what time it is, but the sun has been down for a while and the exhaustion of taking an ass whooping is catching up to him. 

“I don’t, I—,” There’s a sigh and then the bedside light is turned off. Doyoung stands up and makes his way out of the room. His footsteps get faint until they stop completely. Jungwoo listens intently waiting for the sign of him leaving for good. His bottom lip trembles at the thought. It’s been so long since he’s felt like this, so bad for all he’s done. 

In the middle of his wallowing, he misses the footsteps heading for his room again. His bedroom door is slammed open and Doyoung is standing in the doorway, his face is red and it gets even redder the longer they hold eye contact. It looks like he’s holding his breath.

He lets it out shakily and then takes a deep inhale, “I don’t think you’re a bad person and I don’t think everyone that ends up here is bad. Well, maybe, but, like, that’s their own problem. And yeah, I don’t think you’re bad.”

He turns around and stomps back down the rather short hallway. He hears his trailer door open and then shut then the house is covered in silence. 

_Incoming Call... Ten Tender _

_“Hello?”_

_“Jungwoo? Oh my god. Are you okay? Lucas came over last night in tears babbling and saying you’d hate him.”_

_“I could never hate him.”_

_“you don’t sound rather convincing “_

_“…”_

_“You can’t blame him for not telling you, Jungwoo. His life was on the line, too. He already didn’t tell them you were the one who took the money, imagine what they would’ve done if he told you they were coming after you.” _

_“Whatever.”_

_“I didn’t call you to fight. I called to make sure you’re alright.”_

_“I’m fine”_

_“How bad is everything? Do you need me to come over? Do you need anything? “_

_“No. ”_

_Call ended... 00:15_

❊

Doyoung comes by everyday for three days, before and after work, to make sure Jungwoo is taking care of himself. None of his injuries are bad enough to warrant so much care, but Doyoung comes anyways. 

Jungwoo would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate the company. He’s practically trapped inside his house, his knee is hurt pretty bad. He can get around the house but he can’t get on his bike or walk into town. Doyoung is keeping him from going insane.  
He still hasn’t heard from TY about his next moves and he tries his best not to think about it. 

A plate is placed in front of him; the grilled cheese sandwich is steaming and the perfect golden brown. His stomach rumbles at the sight. 

“You only made me one?” He asks. 

Doyoung takes a seat across from him at his little dining table, “Nah, there's a few more. Are you sure this is all you want?” Jungwoo just nods his head picking up his sandwich and taking a big bite. “I’m literally a chef, Jungwoo, this is a waste of my culinary skills.” 

Jungwoo gives a little giggle. He licks his lips and wipes his greasy fingers onto the napkin Doyoung had handed to him. 

Since Doyoung came back into his room and insisted that Jungwoo wasn’t a bad person three nights ago, he has upgraded him to friend status. He doesn’t know why Doyoung keeps coming back, but he likes it more than he’d like to admit. Maybe Doyoung is as lonely as Jungwoo is. 

“I think this is a perfect example of what you can do. It’s hard to make a good grilled cheese.” 

Doyoung raises an eyebrow, an amused expression taking over his face, “Really? Please explain.”

“Well,” Jungwoo picks up the other half of his grilled cheese sandwich, “I can never get the cheese to melt without burning the bread and you managed to do just that. Genius.” He takes a dramatic bite of the sandwich, smacking his lips as he chews. 

“Delicious!” he calls out through a mouth full of food. 

Doyoung laughs, every single tooth in his mouth on display as he tips his head back. Jungwoo loves this look on him. He’s usually very uptight, his eyes trying to take in everything around him like he’s afraid someone will attack him at any given moment, but when he’s laughing his body goes lax and the joy makes his usually dull face light up. 

Jungwoo had decided when he first saw him truly laugh that he’d do anything to see it again and again. 

The moment passes and Jungwoo finishes his sandwich, pushing the now empty plate to Doyoung with puppy-eyes begging for another one. With a dramatic sigh and matching eye roll Doyoung takes three steps to his kitchenette and grabs him two more sandwiches. 

“Water, too, please,” Jungwoo calls out. 

Doyoung mumbles something under his breath that sounded like so needy before opening the freezer and filling a cup up with ice.

“Have you talked to Ten or Lucas,” Doyoung walks back over to the table, placing the plate and cup of water before him. 

“Don’t say either of their names in this house. And no, I haven’t talked to them and I don’t wanna.” 

Doyoung sighs. When Jungwoo first went to Doyoung for advice on this whole situation, he found Doyoung is no good for advice. His personality is hard to describe and it’s even harder to encompass his advice giving skills. It could be helpful, but only if Jungwoo had the mind to decode everything that comes out of his mouth. Jungwoo did not, but he still asks anyway. 

“I mean, they didn’t really do anything bad, but at the same time there was nothing good. There’s two sides to every story, though, or in this case three. You gotta look at it from all sides. All point of views. Ten can’t possibly be that rude, even if I don’t know him I’m sure of that. And you like Lucas, you talk about him a lot. I don’t know if you could let everything fix itself or you can fix it. It all depends.” 

Jungwoo just stares at him, “It’s a blessing you’re cute honey.” 

❊

_Dressing Room Intermission_

“Wait, hold on, are you really trying to play victim in this situation?”

Taeil leans against the doorframe, his arms are crossed over his chest and he stares at Ten with confusion etched into his face.

Ten flips the his long black hair over his shoulder, “Not a victim, I’m just painting the fucking picture. Are you seriously telling me Jungwoo isn’t being a bitch right now?” 

Ten sticks his third pair of lashes onto his eye. He backs away from the mirror giving his eyes a few blinks. His makeup was sickening tonight. Ten had to show out because Jungwoo wasn’t back yet and he had a big space to fill. 

“Well yeah, he literally got his ass beat by TY’s thugs and you’re mad at him for being mad at you because you didn’t warn him that they were coming to beat his ass. This is some mean girls shit that I can’t deal with.” 

Ten smacks his lips, “Exactly, they could’ve done something bad to Lucas if I warned him. I did the right thing.” 

“By choosing your boyfriend of three months over your friend of five years? Like I said: mean girls shit,” Taeil wags his finger. 

“Of course you would say that you watch that movie like twice a month.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Mean girls is a classic.” 

“Yeah for white suburban girls not a sad Asian man with bad skin,” Ten turns around in his chair facing Taeil, “Anyways, what should I do about Jungwoo?” 

“Fuck you for bringing my skin into this and you’re being an asshole plain and simple. Jungwoo was beaten god knows how bad and you don’t even check up on him. You still haven’t checked up on him. Jungwoo has been there for you through everything and you haven't always been a good friend to him. Get your head out of your ass and go check on the boy. He could have died from his wounds by now, for all we know.” 

“Don’t say that.” Ten says in a quiet voice. This wasn’t something they should’ve talked about before he went on stage. 

Taeil checks his watch and gives Ten a reassuring look, “You’re on in five. I’m pretty sure he isn’t dead. Everything will go fine with Jungwoo, he always forgives you, even when you don’t deserve it.”

❊

There’s something compelling about Doyoung. While he was awkward, never made eye contact, and gave confusing advice, he was still sweet. Jungwoo never expected that from him, but it was there: in the way he cooked him every childish meal request, made sure he put aloe on every bruise, and texted him during his breaks. 

He didn’t know much about the boy, but he could go his whole life without knowing much. Just keeping him in his company would be nice. Sometimes, when Jungwoo is thinking too much, he thinks Doyoung would make a good boyfriend. In the back of his little nagging head, a voice always tacks on “for me”. 

The sound of tires of gravel announce Doyoung’s arrival. His little cat wall clock says it’s 12:30. Jungwoo begged Doyoung to come over tonight. He wanted a burger and pancakes from the diner and maybe for Doyoung to spend the night. 

His crappy trailer door is pushed open and in walks Doyoung. His still dressed in his chef outfit, food stains cover the white coat. Jungwoo always wondered why chefs wear white despite cooking being so messy. Jungwoo spots the two styrofoam containers. He lets out a sound of pure joy and Doyoung smiles at him. 

“Wow, are you really that excited to see me,” Doyoung immediately goes to the kitchen, popping his food into the microwave. 

“As if. I’m excited for whatever is in that container.” 

“Oh, this?” The microwave dings, “This isn’t for you.” 

Jungwoo gasps causing Doyoung to laugh, “I’m just joking, of course I brought you you’re cheeseburger and pancakes.”

The container is set down in front of him and Jungwoo slips from sitting on the couch to on the floor scooting closer to the coffee table. 

“Well, now that you got your food I’m gonna go home. Good night, Jungwoo.” Jungwoo makes a noise of protest. 

“Wait,” he calls out. 

Doyoung stops looking right past Jungwoo’s head in confusion. His eyes then flitter to the floor and then Jungwoo’s chest, then at his own feet. 

“It’s late, Doyoung, you should stay,” He says. He’ll say this all night if he has to. 

“I don’t have any clothes—“

“I’m pretty sure we’re the same size. Stay please? It’s late and you’re probably tired. I don’t want you driving like that.” 

There’s hesitance before he huffs out a small, “fine.” 

After Doyoung is showered and changed into some of Jungwoo’s clothes they climb into his bed. There's an awkward silence that reminds him of his mornings opening the diner. Jungwoo looks over his shoulder, the moonlight spilling in through the curtains and highlighting Doyoung’s soft features. 

Since the moment when Doyoung interview him, Jungwoo knew he was handsome. It was that scary classic type that belonged in a noir film, smoking cigarettes and solving crimes, but plot twist that he couldn’t get the girl in the end because he was too awkward. Jungwoo giggles at the thought. 

“What’s so funny?” Doyoung asks. 

His eyes were closed, he laid on his back his hands crossed over his chest, very proper and very Doyoung. Jungwoo’s eyes trace the slope of his nose and the perk of his lips. There was no way he was real, there wasn’t anything that would allow it. Doyoung didn’t belong in his bed, he didn’t belong flipping burgers in that diner. He should be on some aesthetic account that posted those cool people in all black outfits. Maybe he could be on the cover of a magazine or chasing instagram models and endorsing those weight loss teas. 

“You,” Jungwoo answers. 

One of Doyoung’s catlike eyes crack open as he cuts them over to where Jungwoo was laying. He feels exposed in the darkness like Doyoung was reading every hype thought that crossed Jungwoo’s mind. They’ve spent so much time together over the past few days, each time Jungwoo found something else to admire about the man. That didn’t change the fact that they knew virtually nothing about each other, though. 

“Love that you’re thinking about me, but let’s sleep now,” Doyoung whispers.

“Tell me something about yourself,” Jungwoo whispers back ignoring Doyoung. 

This time both of his eyes crack open. His head raises off the pillow with urgency that made Jungwoo worry for his neck. “Really, Jungwoo, right now?”

Jungwoo nods his head and Doyoung let’s out a huff, “This isn’t a little middle school sleepover.”

“So? I barely know you, but I’ve seen you more than I have of the people I know too much about. So, tell me about yourself. Who is Kim Doyoung? What bad decision led you to this jail that they call a town?”

“You really think this is some obscure indie film that’s gonna get trashed on and then become a cult classic.”

“Exactly!”

Doyoung sighs, it’s deep and bothered but he doesn’t close his eyes again. Instead, he turns so they’re face to face. Jungwoo watches his bangs fall to the side and Doyoung’s eyes scan over his face. Jungwoo ignores the skipping of his heart at their closeness. Jungwoo sounds like a broken record with how often he’s singing Doyoung’s praises. 

“What do you want to know,” Doyoung huffs out. He sounds tired and Jungwoo has half a heart to feel bad, but there was no better time like now. 

“Where do you live?”

“Fairmount Apartments, with my roommate and his little brother.’

“How little is little?”

“He just turned 19.”

“Fuck being 19,” That causes Doyoung to chuckle.

“What do you have against being 19,” Doyoung asks, his tone very amused.

“Everything.”

They continue like that until Doyoung’s answers become delayed and it takes him too long to process a question. Jungwoo finds out a lot, he learns that Doyoung has an older brother that eloped in his senior year with his pregnant girlfriend, his dad left mysteriously when Doyoung started kindergarten and came back before he started 6th grade. Doyoung loved his mom, hated his dad, and thought occasionally about his brother. 

Jungwoo doesn’t mind thinking about the nice conversation with tons of eye contact (Doyoung use to get thrown into lockers for staring to hard at the boys in the locker room so naturally he learned to fear eye contact.) they just had or the fact that doyoung seemed to be so open with him without asking for much in return. He does mind thinking about how his heart warmed with each new fact about the other or the way he felt content listening to him speak. 

He gets a nice view of a peaceful sleeping Doyoung, his mouth slightly parted as he let out little puffs of air. With hesitant fingers he brushes away his bangs the strands soft under his touch. Doyoung’s skin is soft under his fingers as he drags them across his cheek. Doyoung doesn’t even flinch and it takes a lot for Jungwoo to not trace his bottom lip with his thumb. Jungwoo doesn't know what all these feelings or the way he just couldn’t stop looking at his face meant but he was going to figure it out soon, he didn’t like being blindsided.

❊

_Incoming call… Xuxi Roll_

_“Hello...”_

_“Hey. ”_

_“…”_

_“Uhm, TY told me to call you and deliver the news.”_

_“And what might that be Lucas?”_

_“I’m sorry, Jungwoo, I am.”_

_“I don’t care Lucas. What the fuck does TY want?”_

_“You have to work at the diner until you pay back the money. He’s asking for interest.”_

_“…I guess I’m gonna be working there for a while, huh?”_

_“Jungwoo-”_

_“I don't wanna hear it Lucas. You didn’t even tell me he was coming—”_

_“Jungwoo-”_

_“—then after his boys beat my fucking ass, you had Ten call me and ask if I was mad at you.”_

_“I’m sorry”_

_“Not even to see if I was okay but to see if I was mad at you.”_

_“I’m sorry, Jungwoo. You know I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me._

_“Don’t talk to me for a while.”_

_Call ended… 1:00_

❊

Jungwoo is told to report to Sunny Side Up at exactly 6am. The chilly spring air cuts through his jacket as we rushes down the street. It's been days since he left his apartment, both in fear that he’d be picked up again and simply because he didn’t need to. Most of his bruises had healed, his knee was still red and ached when he stood on it too long, but other than that he was fine. 

Down the street he sees a familiar body hunched over the diner’s doors. He hears the sound of keys jingling as the distance between them decreases and the smell of cigarette smoke wafts off the man. Said man looks up when Jungwoo is standing next to him. He opens his mouth to say something causing the cigarette to fall from his lips, with a curse the man stomps out the half finished cigarette.

“Good morning,” Doyoung says. 

Jungwoo can't help the small smile that overcomes his face. He suddenly feels warm despite the chilly air. 

“I bet it is, now that you’ve seen me,” he flirts. 

Jungwoo has been trying to ignore the weird beating in his chest since that night Doyoung stayed over at his trailer. He thinks it might be heart palpitations and at this rate he could keel over any second, but with no money, he definitely couldn’t afford a hospital visit. 

Doyoung scoffs at Jungwoo’s accusations, “I’ve seen you everyday for like two weeks and my days have remained mostly the same.”

“Liar. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you,” Jungwoo tries not to let Doyoung’s little jabs bring him down. 

Jungwoo wouldn’t say he liked Doyoung and he was a little too old for crushes, but he definitely found him interesting. The two weeks they spent getting to know each other really made Jungwoo’s heart warm up to him, but it was hard to read Doyoung. What if his snide remarks were him actually turning Jungwoo down? The blush high on his cheeks whenever Jungwoo flirted with him always gave him a little glimmer of hope. 

“Maybe.” Doyoung mumbles. He immediately goes to the kitchen getting everything ready for opening. Jungwoo’s heart does a funny flip and maybe he should see a doctor before he dies. 

This time around Jungwoo takes this job a little more seriously. As Ten once said, Jungwoo liked to fuck people over. It was a normal instinct to do people wrong even when they didn’t do anything bad by him. The ante was upped, though, when they fucked him over. No matter how much Jungwoo wanted to not give a single fuck about this job, had to be good this time. It could be his life if he messed up with TY one more time. 

The door chimes signally a new customer. Jungwoo drags the wet rag across the dirty table as he speaks, “Welcome to Sunny Side Up, sit where you’d like.” 

He drops the dirty rag on the tray as the busboy comes over to help him. He stands up straight wiping his hands on his apron. As he makes his way to the Kitchen he’s hit with an array of yelling and smells. Doyoung stands in the corner typing away on his phone. 

The biggest distraction so far has been Doyoung. Naturally, he just gravitates towards the older man. He brings a hand up blocking Doyoung’s phone screen. He looks up quickly and with a sharp intake of breath, he casts his gaze to the front of the kitchen. 

“Shouldn’t you be waiting tables,” Doyoung asks. 

“Shouldn’t you be cooking food,” Jungwoo retorts. The quirk of his lip doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungwoo. He always felt prideful when Doyoung blushed or smiled because of him. 

“Jungwoo, table 4,” Someone calls out. 

Jungwoo gives Doyoung his own smile, though he probably doesn’t see it, “I guess I should go back to work.”

Doyoung nods his head. He turns and they’re eyes meet. Doyoung has some of the prettiest eyes Jungwoo has ever seen. They’re catlike and always have a slight sparkle to them; they’re so imploring and speak in way Doyoung can’t sometimes. Right now they ask a question that Jungwoo can’t figure out, but he knows he’d agree to whatever it is. Doyoung’s cheeks go red then his neck, he looks like he’s gonna explode from whatever he’s keeping in.

“Jungwoo, table 4!”

“I have to go.” Jungwoo says. 

“Yeah,” That seems to break him out of his haze, “Work.” 

With that, Doyoung is turning around heading back to the grills. 

Jungwoo walks over to table 4, “Sorry for the wait, can I get started with some drinks?”

He smiles at the customers, but it doesn't last long when he sees the familiar gleam of that white gold grill. 

TY sits in the middle of the circle booth. His hands adorned in rings and neck heavy with chains. Jungwoo wants to run. TY was so handsome that it was scary and Jungwoo wonders would he ignite so much fear into him if he was ugly. 

“What took you so long?” His gruff voice sent a shiver down my spine.

“Sorry, I was doing something.” Jungwoo whispers. 

TY smiles bigger, intertwining his ring covered fingers, “Should’ve rushed over when you saw me coming, but that’s in the past now. We’ll all have waters.”

There's groans from the rest of the table. They seem to complain in tandem but TY ignores them grinning not so kindly at Jungwoo. Jungwoo just nods, his feet carrying him to the back. He does everything in a haze. He takes the cups down, fills them with water, and then places them on a tray. 

This is TY’s diner, so of course he’d come here to eat. TY is the one who will take most of his paycheck and make Jungwoo get a third job just so he could pay his rent. TY was a name he didn’t want to think about and hadn’t since he sent his boys to beat him up. 

He sets the cups down with his shaky hands. 

“There’s no need to be scared, babydoll. I’m not here to hurt you.” TY says as Jungwoo sets the last glass down, “I just wanted to see how you’re doing on your first day back. Why do you need to steal when you can work hard for your money?” He asks with a mocking smile. Jungwoo feels humiliated as the people at the table chuckle. 

“You know people like him are just sick in the head. Don’t know what they’re doing until they’ve done it,” One of the guys say. 

“Yeah. You can’t ever date people like him, they’ll rob you blind and talk their way out of it,” Another one chimes in. 

His grip on the tray slips and it hits the ground with a loud clatter. He’s heard all this before, but his face still heats up with humiliation. Jungwoo was slick and conniving, but not in the good way. You couldn’t be friends with a person like him. You couldn’t date a person like him. Jungwoo was a bad person, a horrible person; he took what he didn’t need or want. 

“Lucas told me he stole from his dad regularly,” Jungwoo head snaps up at that. 

“He did what,” Jungwoo barks out.

Anger overtakes his fear, but the embarrassment stays. Lucas always had a big mouth and it always got him in trouble. His stealing habits did stem from his father. His dad had too much to ever notice when anything gone missing and he was a lawyer that could always get young Jungwoo out of any situation. Maybe getting away with it all the time is what kept it going.

“Yeah, you know Lucas: Always running his mouth. Can you take our order now?” The same guy asks. 

There’s so many things running through his mind. Most of them consist of how he’s probably never going to talk to Lucas again, “Yeah, sure. What can I get you?”

❊

“Get out.”

Jungwoo’s day was painful after TY and the rest of his gang left. It was hard to smile at every customer and give them good service when all he could think about what Lucas had told his gang members. 

He wanted to come home, eat whatever he could find in the fridge, then climb into his bed and cry. But no, his plans are thrown straight out the window when he spots Lucas sitting on his couch. His expression mirrors one of a kicked puppy and Jungwoo could never hold a grudge against his best friends, but Lucas had never done something like this. 

“Jungwoo, please hear me out,” Lucas stands up, his voice was pleading. 

“Hear you out? Lucas, you can get the fuck out.”

Jungwoo lets the door slam shut behind him, before marching into his little kitchen area. He spots takeout on the table and his mouth waters, of course Lucas would come with food. 

“Listen, I know what I did was wrong, but you can't actually blame me.”

Jungwoo looks up at Lucas and anger fills his entire body, “I can’t blame you? I can blame you all I want. You just keep calling me to clear your name you haven’t once asked how I am, how did I make it in safe, or anything like that. You only care about yourself.” Jungwoo feel his eyes welling up. 

Lucas doesn’t say anything as Jungwoo loses his appetite. 

“Take your food and get out of my trailer. If you’re not gone by the time I get out of the shower, I’m never talking to you again.”

Jungwoo takes himself to the bathroom, limping slightly due to his bum knee. He sits down on the toilet and rest his head in his hands. He can hear shuffling out in his little sitting area then the front door is opened and closed. The knot in his throat moves slowly up until little whimpers fall from Jungwoo’s lips. 

Lucas was the type who always tried to fit in even if he didn’t have to, but he’s never thrown a friend under the bus. The fact that Jungwoo stole from his father wasn’t really a secret, but it definitely wasn’t something he wanted broadcast all over town. He already had dirty names following after him and horrible assumptions whispered about him wherever he went. 

Maybe everyone was right, maybe a bad person and maybe this was just the beginning of his karma. He didn’t know what hurt worse: Lucas not telling him about TY coming to beat his ass or Lucas telling everyone he use to take from his father. He knows that it would take a lot for him to trust Lucas again and a while before he talked to him again. 

A knock on the bathroom door pulls Jungwoo out of his thoughts. His blood boils, why did Lucas comeback? 

“Xuxi, I swear to god—” When Jungwoo pulls open the door his body sags in relief. 

“Who’s Xuxi,” Doyoung asks from the other side of the threshold. 

“Lucas,” Jungwoo mumbles out his answer.

Before he can think clearly he’s wrapping his arms around Doyoung and shoving his face in his neck. His skin is warm against Jungwoo’s nose and he smells like expensive cologne. Timid arms wrap around Jungwoo’s body to the best of their abilities from where Jungwoo was pinning them down with his own. 

He continues his cry but now in Doyoung’s arms. Doyoung wasn’t very fond of being clung to, so the fact that he’s letting Jungwoo cling to him made him feel some type of way. He knows its a warm feeling and maybe if he wasn’t sobbing, everything would be alright. 

Jungwoo pulls away barely putting any distance in between each other, “Did you wash your hands before throwing yourself at me?”

Jungwoo giggles in-between sniffles, “I didn’t even use the bathroom.”

“I’m guessing Lucas was here?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you guys talk?”

“No, I don’t want to hear anything that little bitch has to say.”

Doyoung smiles and brings a hand through Jungwoo’s hair. Jungwoo’s breath gets caught in his throat. They were already standing pretty close, maybe two steps away from kissing. “Jungwoo, he’s your friend. You should at least hear him out.”

Jungwoo’s eyes well up again. The thoughts from earlier come back. He bites his trembling bottom lip. He wants intimacy right now, someone to hold him and tell him everything will be alright. 

“I never pinned you as so forgiving,” he jokes in between his whimpers.

But before Doyoung can counter Jungwoo’s attacks the latter is sobbing again. 

“I don’t understand how Lucas could do this to me, he was supposed to be my friend.”

Jungwoo’s cries don’t stop as Doyoung pulls him into another hug. Jungwoo weeps into the soft blue fabric of his shirt. When he sniffles, trying to stop the snot from ruining the shirt, he catches the smell of his laundry detergent. Jungwoo squeezes him tighter, reveling in the closeness he didn’t know he was missing. 

❊

_Dressing Room Intermission_

Time is a fickle thing; it passes without questioning whether everything is okay. Nothing really is okay and the last time Jungwoo spoke to Ten was the night after his ass beating. Since then, time has let the anger manifest to betrayal. No matter how well you know someone, they’ll eventually turn on you. Time meant nothing. 

Nevertheless, time brought Jungwoo back to Tails, his old source of happiness that now feels like a chore. Dragging himself down to the club he’s been debating quitting, but he loves being a drag queen It’s simply the thought of dressing up, doing makeup, and having to perform next to the second person to completely betray his trust was making him want to give up. 

Jungwoo pushes open the door to the dressing room. The room was warm like always and the two little vanities were turned on, their bright lights heating the room further. He was only gone for two weeks, but after spending every Friday for months here, he misses this place more than anything. He couldn’t quit, he just couldn’t. 

The door opening startles him, he turns quickly and is greeted with Ten. His heart drops to his stomach, an uneasy feeling takes over. In all the years he’s known Ten, they’ve never had difficulty talking to each other. The conversation always flowed steadily, they just had personalities that drew them to each other. Now, everything feels wrong.

“Hey,” Ten’s voice was uncharacteristically small.

“Hey.” 

Ten walks into the room. He hangs his outfit bag up on the nail by his vanity. He sets his makeup box on the counter before taking a seat. Jungwoo just watches in silence the poised way he moves to unpack whatever he would need for the night. He was always so organized when getting ready for their shows. 

Jungwoo sits at his own vanity. His makeup box was already here, he didn’t even bring an outfit. He had no intention of performing tonight. 

“Did you know TY’s boys were coming after me?” Jungwoo asks. He stares at himself in the mirror. He looks more tired than he feels. 

“Yeah,” Ten whispers. 

Jungwoo’s heart clenches. He tries to ignore the knot rising in his throat, “And you didn’t tell me because?”

There’s movement out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t turn to see what Ten doing continuing to stare at himself in the mirror. 

“Because Lucas told me not to.” Jungwoo doesn’t like how soft his voice is. He speaks like he’s scared and Ten’s never been scared of anything. 

“You’d listen to someone you’ve barely known a year over someone you’ve known five?”

“Jungwoo, you don’t understand. You should’ve heard how angry TY was when Lucas didn’t tell him he knew who took the money. What would you have done anyway? Skip town, fight back, go into hiding?”

Jungwoo doesn’t know what he would’ve done, but it doesn’t matter now what he would’ve done. The guy in the mirror’s eyes well up, his bottom lip doesn’t shake his gaze doesn’t water. He doesn’t flinch when the tear falls and he doesn’t move to wipe them as they drip off his chin. 

With a deep shaky breath he finally looks at Ten, “Who was there for you when you first got here? Me. Who helped you when your crazy ex came looking for you? Me. Who helped you get that apartment, who helped you buy that furniture, who got you this job? Me, me, me!”

He’s standing now rigid with anger. The tears fall faster and his hands shake. He wants to put his hand through the wall, flip the chair, or break the mirror. He wants to show Ten how pissed off he is, because the words just don’t seem to be enough. 

“I helped you get on your feet, despite being younger than you! I did everything I could for you. I slip one time, Ten, one fucking time and everyone turns their back on me. No one was on my side. You don’t give me a heads up and then you call me the next day and you're first reaction is to beg me not to be mad. I’m lying in my bed with bruised ribs, a swollen black eye, my knee fucked and you don’t want me to be mad at you?”

Jungwoo is sobbing now, spit flying everywhere as his hands gesture wildly. He takes a deep breath trying to center himself and gather his thoughts.

“You know what,” Jungwoo says, when the tears slow, “I'm not mad at you. I’m so fucking disappointed in myself for believing that you’d be there for me.”

The door open and Taeil pokes his head in. He looks surprised when he sees Jungwoo standing over Ten. Maybe from all the tears being shed or just the fact that Jungwoo is finally back- either way Jungwoo knows what he has to do. 

“Is this a bad time?” Taeil asks, his eyes darting from Jungwoo to Ten and then back to Jungwoo. 

Ten open his mouth to speak, but Jungwoo beats him to it, “No, it's perfect.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been gone without letting you know.” He continues.

“It’s fine. I heard you were having a hard time.”

Jungwoo gives a chuckle at that, “I want to cancel my joint shows with Ten and I want my solo Saturday slot back.” 

He looks up at Taeil’s shocked expression. He doesn’t even dare to look over at Ten. He backs away from Ten, feeling more in control with himself than earlier. 

“It’s only right since I asked to share them with him.” Jungwoo stands straight as he speaks. 

He can feel the dried tears on his face and the snot at the top of his lip. The door is now open all the way, giving a clear view to the hallway leading to the stage. He turns to push his chair in, staring at the nasty grey floors. Making sure his eyes hit everywhere but Ten, he looks back up at Taeil’s waiting for his answer. 

“That,” Taeil pauses, “That can be arranged.”

Jungwoo gives a quick glance at Ten, he can't help it. The older man is shocked and that’s all Jungwoo can pick up from him. The tears have ceased and he turns back to Taeil. 

“I’ll text you.” Then, he’s off.

❊

_From: Ten Tender_  
Jungwoo, I really don’t have anything  
to say but I’m sorry. 

_seen_

❊

Jungwoo doesn’t leave himself to think about Ten. He works hard at the diner and gets his solo shows back and he falls back into his old habits of barely being home. It's nice to almost feel like nothing has changed, but he can’t help but wonder if Lucas is just waiting for him to call and ask him to meet at that Starbucks like old times. 

Lucas was only a year younger than him, but Jungwoo loved him like he was the baby brother that he’d watch grown up. It was crazy how much he’s been through with Lucas and how this could completely derail him. He’s deep in thought when someone bumps shoulders with him. His body tilts to the left from the sudden movement. He turns to see Doyoung squatting to sit down next to him.

Doyoung was the only constant left in his life. He definitely didn’t come over as often as he did when Jungwoo was hurt, but he still brought him meals, they texted everyday, and occasionally when there was too much to type he’d call. Jungwoo lived for the days when Doyoung would call, his voice was so soft over the phone. It calmed him down more than he liked to admit. 

Jungwoo could definitely say he now liked Doyoung. In that giddy childlike way that made him blush when he thought that maybe he wasn’t too old for crushes. He could sit for hours and just think about what he liked about Doyoung. His cable was turned off right now so he spent a lot of time doing just that. He would lay back on his bed, eyes closed, thinking about when Doyoung smiled and how he could count each tooth, or the way their lack of eye contact was changing, or how pretty his fingers were, or how sweet he was under all his snark. Sometimes he even let himself think that Doyoung might like him back. 

“What’s on your mind?” Doyoung asks, breaking the silence. 

Jungwoo turns to face him to find him staring back. It made him excited whenever they were eye to eye. He can feel the heat rise on his cheeks and he imagines he looks something like Doyoung does with a slight red on the apple of his cheeks. 

“Everything,” Jungwoo answers, turning forwards again. His view was the side of a shopping center. People got in and out of their cars, kids running up to the shop door while the parents yelled after them. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Doyoung enjoying the same horrible view, “Yeah, these past few days have been a lot.”

Jungwoo scoffs, “That’s an understatement. I wish there was something I could do to take my mind off of everything.”

Doyoung perks up at that. He can see the latter being to fidget slightly. 

“Ummm- I-you-maybe--” He lets out a big breath, dropping his head to his hands and runs his fingers through his long black hair before turning to face Jungwoo. 

Jungwoo stares back, his heart racing at the beauty that is Kim Doyoung.

“Maybe we could hangout?” His voice steady when he finally gathers his thoughts, “Like a date?”

Jungwoo is pretty sure his heart stops beating. He definitely forgets how to breath. Doyoung’s face was a nice shade of pink blinking back at him with hopeful eyes. Jungwoo wants to say something, he wants to say “yes i’ll go on a date with you”, maybe even confess that he’d follow him anywhere. Maybe it was too soon for all that, but right now Doyoung just asked him on a date. And maybe it’s time to give up on maybes. “Yeah, I’m cool with that.”

“Yeah,” Jungwoo can't miss the way Doyoung’s eyes light up, “I'll text you the details?”

Jungwoo can’t deny he’s floating because it sure feels like it; it’s like he’s ascending to whatever astral plane is next to this one because Doyoung is smirking at him. Despite all his nervousness, he still finds a way to be cocky and completely sweep Jungwoo off his feet. He could do anything and still stun the younger boy. The backdoor opens snd they both turn quickly to see Jisung poke his head out. 

“Your break is over,” He says. 

Jungwoo stands up, dusting off his butt. “Don’t forget to text me.”

Doyoung’s little smug smirk grows bigger and Jungwoo wants to kiss it right off. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

❊

_From doie  
Are you free this Friday?_

_To doie  
yea, always free for you ( ◡‿◡ *)_

_From doie_  
-_- did you wanna come  
over for dinner Friday?  
To doie  
(* ^ ω ^) ofc! 

_From doie  
Good…_

_you don’t have to dress up_

_To doie  
cant wait to see you_

_From doie  
Same_

❊

“This is the best fucking pasta ever.”

Doyoung stares a little worried as Jungwoo shoves another big bite of pasta into his mouth. He moans around the forkful of food his body practically melting at the heavenly taste. Each bite was better than the last and Jungwoo thought he could eat this for the rest of his life. 

“Please slow down,” Doyoung says concerned. 

Jungwoo just shakes his head, “You should’ve went to cooking school.”

Doyoung gives a small smile, watching Jungwoo take a sip of his white wine before going back to his plate. Jungwoo didn’t care about manners or how he looked right now, he just wanted to finish this plate so he could get seconds. 

“You’re a horrible first date.”

Jungwoo slurps up the last bit of noddle dangling from his mouth. He looks up in surprise. His face heats up, he sits back from where he was hunching over his plate. Embarrassment fills his entire being. Yes, Doyoung had seen him in worse circumstances, but Jungwoo was trying to impress him, make sure the other gained a better impression of him. 

“I was just joking,” He picks up his napkin reaching over the table to dab away some sauce on Jungwoo’s lips, “I’m glad you're enjoying the food.” His tone is fond and it does little to help the erratic beating of his heart. Doyoung picks up his own fork and resumes eating. They fall into a comfortable silence, Jungwoo no longer eating like he’s a starving man. “I did go to cooking school, as you called it.”

Jungwoo looks up surprised. Doyoung is staring down at his fork, twirling the pasta around and around. Doyoung never really shared his past without prompting, the only time he got to know him was back during their little sleepover. Jungwoo wipes his own mouth this time—careful of his lipgloss—and sits up giving Doyoung his undivided attention. 

“Did you like, graduate?” Jungwoo doesn’t know if that’s a rude question. 

“No, I dropped out,” Doyoung looks up at Jungwoo, “It was expensive and a waste of time.”

Jungwoo’s lips quirk at that last line that’s such a Doyoung thing to say. “Well obviously you didn’t need it. This is the best thing I’ve ever had and I’ve been to some pretty expensive restaurants.” Jungwoo refers back to his upper echelon past.

He loves the was Doyoung blushes. The latter stands abruptly, grabbing Jungwoo’s empty plate. “Seconds?” He asks.

Jungwoo stands to follow him to the kitchen. The date had been going well so far. Jungwoo doesn’t think he’s ever seen Doyoung so relaxed. He’s probably just more comfortable in his own home. Jungwoo also likes to think that the older was now getting more comfortable around him. 

Doyoung’s been touchy, giving Jungwoo a hug when he first arrived to resting his hand on his lower back as he squeezed passed the latter in the kitchen and their finger brushing across each other as they both reached for the wine. Jungwoo hasn’t felt this way in years. His body hadn’t yearned for someone like it does for Doyoung in a long while. 

He watches him place the pasta on the plate, “Want me to make it fancy again?” Doyoung asks, clearly wanting to show off. 

Jungwoo nods his head completely wanting to see Doyoung show off. He goes serious setting up the noodles nicely on the plate. Jungwoo watches him for more than what he’s doing. He pays attention to the way his eyebrows furrow as he studies the plate, making sure everything is perfect.

The front door opens, both of them shoot up trying to see who came in. Jungwoo knew Doyoung had a roommate but he promised they wouldn’t be bothered tonight. He turns to look at Doyoung ready to laugh off the situation but the blank expression on his face causes him to halt. Doyoung walks through the kitchen threshold and into the living room. 

Jungwoo’s eyes go wide when he sees Jaehyun standing in the middle of the room. 

“What are you doing here?” They both say at the same time. 

“I live here,” Jaehyun answers standing straight up, “This is your date tonight? Doyoung?”

Jungwoo doesn’t like the condescending tone of his voice. He said it like Jungwoo was trash Doyoung picked off the street, something far from worthy of his time. Jungwoo feels small under his harsh tone. 

“Is that a problem?” Doyoung bites back. 

Jaehyun glares at Jungwoo with a sigh he speaks again, “That’s something for you to figure out. Just don’t come crying to me when your shit goes missing”

Doyoung doesn’t say anything and Jungwoo doesn’t either. Jungwoo has gotten better at scratching that itch to take. He’s set boundaries since he slipped into Jaehyun’s office after hours and emptied the safe. Ever since, Jaehyun had been nice enough to not call the cops and settle with just half of the money, Jungwoo doesn’t just take.

The diner was an accident: He was drunk and he felt humiliated over being fired. Ten had spent the story into one hilarious joke that had Jungwoo flushing to his neck. The more he drank the bigger his anger grew, the more everyone in the club laughed at Ten’s joke, the more he wants to get someone back. 

Jungwoo wants to hide- all the bad things he’s done seems to be coming to bite him in the butt. 

“I should leave.” Jungwoo whispers in shame. 

“No, Jungwoo—”

Doyoung finally speaks, but it's too late. He grabs his shoes so he doesn’t slow down rushing out the door. He doesn’t hear anything other than the beating in his chest. Doyoung was ashamed of him, ashamed of all the things Jungwoo did in the past. He just asked him out out of pity and not because he liked him. Jungwoo feels his eyes well up. The elevator door dings open and he makes it through the lobby. 

He exits the building, the first tear drop falls, as Doyoung calls out to him, “Jungwoo, wait! Please!”

Jungwoo doesn’t wait. He doesn’t want to hear it. He quickens his pace, the bus stop a block away. The concrete is cold under his feet and the air is chillier than when he arrived. He walks quietly, his sniffles the only thing keeping him company. He was such a fool. 

To anyone else, Doyoung might not be all that. A diner chef with a bad smoking habit, but to Jungwoo he was something spectacular and Jungwoo was a fool for believing that someone like Doyoung could possibly like him back. 

Jungwoo comes to the bus stop bench and collapses on it. The cold was now deep in his bones and he shivers lightly as he tries to find warmth. 

He jumps as a jacket is placed around his shoulders. He looks up to thank the kind stranger, but his stomach clenches when he sees Doyoung. Jungwoo turns his gaze back to the empty road, staring at the buildings across the street. 

He tries not to think about Doyoung sitting next to him huddled in his own jacket. He tries not to think too much about how Doyoung slowly scoots closer until their thighs are touching or how he reaches out for his hand intertwining his fingers with his own. Jungwoo definitely doesn’t pay attention to how Doyoung whispers in a heartbreakingly soft voice, “I’m sorry.”

Jungwoo tries and tries and tries but he can't help it. He thinks about how Doyoung chased after him, followed him a block down to the bus stop, brought him his jacket and then apologized. There was so much special about Doyoung and his patient and helpful personality was definitely what Jungwoo liked the most. 

“I want to say it’s fine but that really hurt me,” his own voice was just as heartbreaking. 

“I know, God, Jaehyun just always speaks without thinking. He really doesn’t like you.”

Jungwoo laughs at that. He brings a cold hand to a cold cheek wiping away his tears, “I mean, he has a good reason.”

Jungwoo tilts his head to look at Doyoung. His big bunny eyes shine under the streetlamp, the gold hue makes him looked washed out, but it doesn’t erase the sincerity off his face. 

“He doesn’t know you, Jungwoo, you’re not a bad person, you’re just,” Doyoung struggles to find the word, “Human.” Jungwoo is taken back by that. He was expecting a lot of things to come tumbling out of his mouth but human wasn’t one of them. “Humans aren’t perfect, you make mistakes. We all do, Jungwoo, no one in this world can convince me you’re bad other than yourself. And so far all you’ve shown me is that you’re like every other person.”

Jungwoo can't help the way his lips quirk up. This is way Doyoung was so spectacular. He was so understanding and so forgiving, he knew Jungwoo wasn’t hopeless. Jungwoo didn’t need anyone to fix his problems, he wanted someone to see that his problems weren’t all he was. The no eye contact, the awkward staring, and snarky humor made Doyoung so unforgettable. 

“That’s what I like about you, Jungwoo, everyone’s trying to be good or bad but that gray area is what makes us human. I like that you’re human.”

Jungwoo bites back a smile, trying to hide his rosy cheeks, “that speech is gonna make our obscure indie film a cult classic.”

Doyoung lets out an amused huff, “can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

It's been a long time coming when Doyoung presses his lips against Jungwoo’s. Doyoung was warmer than Jungwoo and it sent a chill through his body. There was electricity at the tips of his fingers and at the core of his body, his entire body was thrumming with desire. He pushes himself closer feeling Doyoung’s nose press against his cheekbone. 

They pull away slowly Jungwoo opening his eyes to stare at Doyoung’s spit covered lips. Then they’re getting closer until they’re pressed against his once more. Jungwoo hears the bus roll by, the loud squeaking of it old joints loud in the night. They pull away when a light comes over them. Jungwoo looks over and sees a tired bus driver waiting. 

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll bring you some more pasta,” Jungwoo can't help but smile.

“Okay.” 

They detangle themselves. Jungwoo standing tall, Doyoung reaches down and hands him his shoes. 

“Oh, thank you.”

Doyoung smiles his eyes looking anywhere but Jungwoo, “Text me when you get home.”

“Okay.” 

Then Jungwoo boards the bus. He takes the window seat, looking out a blushing Doyoung. He gives Jungwoo a shy wave paired with an even shyer smile and Jungwoo promises the only thing he’d steal from him was his heart. 

❊

_Dressing Room Intermission_

There was very little Jungwoo loved more than being on stage. When he was dancing around his wig flying behind him, the bright lights on him, the people hyping him up. He felt powerful, how he could demand a whole room to pay attention to him and only him. 

When Jungwoo was Miss Allure he was unstoppable, he demanded attention and tonight he was determined to show out. He was doing his favorite set—still working on a new show—the one that made him feel most powerful. 

It was the last song, he was sweaty and tired and felt like he could burst out of his corset any minute. His eyes catch Doyoung’s as the song starts up his hips moving on beat. It’s bad etiquette to not interact with the crowd but Jungwoo has tunnel vision for one man. 

_Where have all the good men gone  
and where are all the gods?_

He starts out into the crowd, turning the dramatics up to a hundred. He elongates his arms reaching out to the crowd. Every turn and twist to every drip and strut is fast quick and right on beat. Jungwoo snatches a one dollar bill out of the hand of a sweaty old man. At the end of the little stage there’s Doyoung. He struts over stopping a good few feet in front of him. 

_I need a hero, I’m holdin’ out  
for a hero till the end of the night_

Doyoung smiles big as Jungwoo mouths the words to him. He holds out a crips five for Jungwoo and he snatches it up with a wink. He turns back to the crowd snapping his hips to the beat then struts back to the main part. Jungwoo can feel Doyoung’s eyes on his ass and he relishes in the feeling and then turns up the energy. 

Jungwoo walks back out into the club. Everything was put back into place for patrons to enjoy the rest of the night. Jungwoo loved to walk around and chat after his shows. He felt like a celebrity when people came over to him and asked him for pictures. 

Tonight was no different as people hand him more money and he poses for plenty of pictures. The only difference was he was antsy to get to the bar, where the only person he really wanted to impress sat tonight. 

He breaks away from some fans kindly brushing off anyone else that tried to approach him. He slides into a stool right next to Doyoung smiling big. 

“Hey,” He shouts over the music. 

Doyoung turns to him, his lips sealed around the straw. He immediately abandoned what he was drinking turning fully to face Jungwoo. 

“You were amazing,” Doyoung gushes. Jungwoo can't miss the way his eyes sparkle. It warms his heart and subconsciously he leans closer to the other. 

“Thank you,” The proximity allows him to speak in a lower tone, “I’m glad you came.”

“Fuck, I’m so happy you invited me.”

There's a tentative hand on his waist and he looks down to see Doyoung wrapping him up. He pulls Jungwoo closer and lands a soft peck on his lips. Jungwoo can't help the giddy feeling that overtakes him. 

It's been two weeks since they kissed at the bus stop and during that time they’ve gotten to know each other really well. Well, more like Doyoung really opened up to Jungwoo. And Jungwoo’s never been more smitten. They see each other almost every day due to working together, but even then Doyoung seems to be the only thing on his mind. Puppy love, a voice whispers in the back of his mind. Jungwoo was relishing in this innocent phase. 

Jungwoo leans in for another peck, hyper aware of the hand on his hip. 

“This your boyfriend?” Hendery sails by. 

Jungwoo places a manicured hand on Doyoung’s cheek, gently pulling his head closer until it’s resting on his chest, “Not sure if I should keep him? What do you think?”

Jungwoo can just imagine Doyoung with a flaming face and eyes darting around the room as Jungwoo places his chin on top of his head with a pout. 

“He’s cute. I ship it,” Then, he’s off.

“You heard the man. He ships it!”

Before Doyoung can reply, Jungwoo is grabbing him by the hand and pushing through the crowd. He walks past the bathroom and to the tiny room at the end of the hall. Once the door is closed behind him, he crowds Doyoung up against it. 

The shitty lighting shows a surprised Doyoung. He takes Jungwoo in, slowly looking him up and then down and then back up again. Jungwoo was way taller than Doyoung right now, his boots making him at least 6’4 and he places both hands on either side of Doyoung’s head leaning in closer. 

“Tell me what you think of Miss Allure.” Jungwoo asks in a low voice. 

Doyoung visibly swallows, “I think she’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful,” Jungwoo scuffs, “But she tried so hard to look sexy for you.”

Jungwoo pushes off the door. He gives a spin for Doyoung. 

“She’s sexy, too, but she also really beautiful.”

Jungwoo doesn’t want to blush but he does, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. The blonde really suits you. Maybe you should dye your real hair blonde.”

“I’ll consider it.”

❊

When Jungwoo finishes his shift at the diner, he’s dead on his feet. He stumbles into the trailer, his whole body a little too heavy. He expected to take a quick shower, change into his pajamas, make some ramen and wait for Doyoung to come over. What he definitely didn’t expect or want was for Lucas to be sitting on his couch. 

“You’re really taking advantage of that broken lock,” Jungwoo calls out.

The younger sat with his legs spread and phone cradled in his hand. When the door opens he jumps to his feet startled by the noise. Jungwoo clicks on the overhead light really getting a look at the boy. 

It’s been weeks since they last saw each other, a drastic change from their old everyday routine. Jungwoo was obviously still hurt and would be for a very long time, but he’d been ignoring it. In all honesty, he was an afterthought. When he’d crawl into his bed alone or after Doyoung had fallen asleep, he’d think of Ten and Lucas. He’d wonder if he was too harsh on them and if he should just patch things up so they could go back to how they used to be. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss them, but each time he almost picked up the phone he would remember. 

Now, with a wide eye scared Lucas staring him in his face, he figured it was time to completely move on. 

“Xuxi, you shouldn’t just let yourself into other people's homes.” He sits on the chair of his little dining room table. He turns so he can face Lucas. 

“I know but if I called you wouldn't of picked up.”

Jungwoo sighs because it’s true; he avoided Ten for the straight week he tried to reach out. Despite Jungwoo having 3am debates on whether or not he should call Ten or Lucas again, he knew there was no coming back from this one. 

Lucas takes a deep breath and from all the years they’ve spent together, he knew what was about to happen. Lucas opens his mouth to speak, Jungwoo watches his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows down what he couldn’t get out. “Jungwoo— I,” He lets out a shaky exhale, “Is there anything I could say to make you forgive me?”

Back in freshman year, they made a blood oath (Lucas skipped a grade to keep up with Jungwoo) that they’d never let each other down, never be without the other. It was dumb, Jungwoo found it online and thought it was a good idea to soothe Lucas’ thoughts that they’d grow apart. It worked for the most part. They went through freshman year without a hitch and when Jungwoo was kicked out of the house during winter break of senior year by the time summer rolled around Lucas was following him into town. 

Jungwoo doesn’t want to cry but he’s losing his best friend. “Xuxi, there’s nothing you can do to fix this. It’s too late.”

Lucas looks down bring his hands up to his head. He runs his fingers through his hair, the strands falling just slightly out of place. 

“I’m sorry, Woo. I was a horrible friend but I can’t— you-you’re my best friend. We made a promise to each other.”

“Yeah, a promise you broke, Xuxi. The moment you let me live like nothing was going to happen to me was the moment this was all fucked. You saw me before it happened, you could’ve said something, but you didn’t. Nothing will be the same, nothing can be the same, Xuxi, you screwed me over. If I could believe anyone would do me so dirty, it would've been Ten. Xuxi, you were the last person I ever expected to turn their back on me. Everything about that situation was fucked and you made it worse. If I wanna reach out I will but for now please leave.”

Not only was Jungwoo physically drained but he was also mentally. He thinks about calling Doyoung and cancelling so he can have some time to himself but there's a soft knock on the door. Maybe Doyoung is what he needs right now. 

The door swings open and in walks Doyoung a plastic bag containing tonight’s dinner in his hand. 

“Who’s that?” Lucas asks. 

“His boyfriend, who are you?” Doyoung answers before Jungwoo can remind Lucas his life is no longer any of his business. 

Jungwoo notices the snap in his voice. Jungwoo lightens at that tone, “Boyfriend, hmm? I didn’t think you’d be so possessive.”

Doyoung turns to Jungwoo, his cheeks turning red, “Shut up.” He walks farther into the trailer making his way to the kitchen. One thing Jungwoo found really attractive was healthy possessiveness. He liked knowing that the person he was with always wanted him and would always fight for him. It made his dick harder than he’d like to admit. “I was planning on asking you tonight anyway.”

Jungwoo smiles at Doyoung. He made his shitty day brighter without even trying. 

“When did you get a boyfriend?” Lucas asks. Jungwoo turns back to the younger boy almost have completely forgotten he was still here. 

“Xuxi,” Jungwoo stands up. He really doesn’t know what else there is to say. He wanted Lucas gone so he could heal for real now. There was no way Jungwoo could give up Lucas, that was his best friend, his ride or die, but for right now he had to settle for nothing. 

“Can you at least not be mad at Ten? He didn’t do anything wrong.” Lucas pleads.

“No, this was both of your doing. I’m not forgiving anyone. Now leave Xuxi, please.”

Lucas casts him one last look before taking off to the door. Jungwoo follows him opening it up. He stares at Lucas in his doorway. He’s gotten even more handsome over the years, especially since he grew into all his overly large features. Jungwoo feels nostalgic, maybe breaking this oath can let them both grow. 

Jungwoo has known Lucas his whole life. There was never a moment without that little awkward boy from across the street and Jungwoo thought there would never be a moment without that boy. Lucas was his everything and he followed him everywhere. People called Lucas his shadow but it always felt like it he was living in the younger’s. 

Their childish ways could be set aside like this and maybe they’d meet again as better people, not relying on one another. 

Lucas doesn’t say anything but goes over to his motorcycle that was hidden away on the side of the trailer right in between his and his neighbor’s house. He closes the door when Lucas gets on his bike and takes off into the night. 

Jungwoo walks over to the table seeing that Doyoung had set up their food while he waited. He smiles slightly. “You take such good care of me,” Jungwoo says. 

He takes a seat waiting for Doyoung to come out of the kitchen with his drinks. He places a glass in front of Jungwoo and hands him a pair of chopsticks. 

“So, boyfriend,” Jungwoo says while mixing his food.

“Sorry for interrupting.”

“Thank god you did, I might have forgiven him. It’s always been hard to tell Lucas no.” He digs into his food. They eat in silence for a few seconds, occasionally Jungwoo would look up and catch him staring. Doyoung would quickly look away, his cheeks seemingly stained red. Jungwoo sits up straight in his seat just staring at Doyoung until the latter does the same in confusion. 

He grips is thighs in nervousness and Doyoung stares back face neutral. It takes him back to many months ago when he first applied to work at Sunny Side Up. How Doyoung had effectively creeped him out, but also became a permanent thought in the younger’s mind. Everything leading up to this moment has been unconventional but Jungwoo wouldn’t change anything if it always ended with him being with Doyoung. 

“You never answered my question. I’m your boyfriend?”

“Jungwoo—”

“Because I don’t remember being asked—“

“Woo, please.”

“—you shouldn’t just go around assuming people are your friend.”

“Baby.”

That shuts him up. Doyoung has never called him anything other than his name. It was a term he really wasn’t ready for. He wanted to be Doyoung’s baby, be someone he talked to with affection. He wanted to be someone Doyoung loved spending time with. 

“Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” There was a smug look on his face, one Jungwoo wanted to kiss right off. Jungwoo wanted to be his boyfriend so bad. 

“I don’t know, do you want me to be your boyfriend?”

“God, you are so infuriating. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you too. I want to be with you so bad, Woo. It’s basically a dream, at this point. Now, do you want to be my boyfriend? It’s a yes or no question.”

Jungwoo stands up from his seat. He quickly rounds the small table and plops himself in Doyoung’s lap. “Well,” he drags a hand down Doyoung’s chest, “How about I make your wildest dreams come true?” He leans in and gives a quick peck, “Of course I’ll be your boyfriend.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! The editing for this took forever and I had finished this over the summer. I already have ideas for the next part of the series. Honestly this timeline already has me confused so just bear with me lol. Shoutout to my beta, she's not on rn so idk if she wants me to put her name but she's like my English teacher now, love her for that!!
> 
> [I made a writing account](https://twitter.com/suhleehunny)


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